Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Blow job season was short but glorious.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
