Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
