You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
