I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
