Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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