why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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