i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
