Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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