They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
