I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
