did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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