love makes seman taste better
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I will pee on everything he values.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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