I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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