Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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