there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She bit a glass in half.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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