apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
