Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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