Christians are straight up FREAKS
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
