I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
