you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
