You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
