When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
