I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize