i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did I show you my penis last night?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
