I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
