a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
