you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize