so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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