Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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