Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
