when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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