If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
