Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize