Already got asked if we're dating
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
even my farts smell like vagina
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
