STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
