i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
