Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
