We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
