the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
