As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
