The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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