what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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