shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize