Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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