God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
