i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize