Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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