It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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