Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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