is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
