I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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