guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
