i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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