drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
