I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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