i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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