I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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