I think my vagina is haunted
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
