Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
