I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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