his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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