ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize