I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
