just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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