Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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