Ambien. No doubt about it.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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