I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry about my life...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
