she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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