Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
