yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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