just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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